I was chatting with Jan last night and she asked how the bread project from the weekend went. The bread turned out great. But the reaction I got from my Dad was roughly "i don't want any bread".
Ok, so he didn't exactly say I don't want any bread, but that's what he meant. It was more like "i don't really eat much bread". This was after I had pretty much forced him to taste the bread. There was also a very obligatory sounding "very good". My Dad is nothing if not polite. :)
So I promised Jan a little self-analysis on the blog, since it seems clear that my making bread for Dad only appeals to one of us. And it really was very well intentioned. And I did learn how to bake bread (for the most part). And I still have the impulse to bring him a little something homemade when I visit each week. I guess I should just accept that it's at least 50% for me. There's not much else I can do for him that gives us both a little enjoyment. While taking him to the Dr. is very useful, it's not super fun.
That places us squarely at the "and what now?' point of this project. I see three options:
Option 1- keep going on bread making for myself and search for a recipe and routine that can create my everyday bread.
Option 2- start exploring stuff to make for my dad that he'd actually receive enthusiastically.
Option 3- The END
Really they're all independent decisions in some way. Could do options 1 and 2 but stop blogging. Could end the bread baking and focus my energy on proteins that travel and reheat well. (I jokingly suggested homemade gefilte fish. Do not joke about this with a NY Jew. It leads to disappointment.) Could give up on the idea that taking my Dad food is useful. Could keep blogging on option 1 or 2 and silently pursue the other.
LOVE some feedback! Worth keeping the blog going? (hello silent readers...) If so, keep bread as the theme or follow the "feeding Dad" path? Or bail on the blog and keep plugging away at feeding Dad? Just become a personal baker? Your thoughts?
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Karen,
ReplyDeleteYou really must not stop blogging--not after this incredibly well-written and poignant entry. It occurs to me that most nonagenarians that I know (I can think of three outside of your father) are not particularly interested in food, mostly because your taste buds are the first to go--before your hearing, your eyesight, and your balance. Bummer. But I would bet that your dad is secretly pleased at your bread attempts. If you don't want to keep baking, don't. But I know you ... so keep baking. As for the homemade gefilte fish, I am intrigued. How might one go about doing that? (This from a person who has never quite had the guts to taste gefilte fish).
Love, Jen
Even though I told my Dad a big "no" on the gefilte fish, I did look it up in one of my mom's old school cookbooks. Craig Claiborne's New York Times Cookbook. Not only did they have a recipe - they had 3! All involved grinding up carp and making stock from fish heads, to then be served with fish jelly. Simply can't do it. Otherwise just think of it as meatballs that are made with whitefish instead.
ReplyDeleteKaren - I think you have a 4th option, to DO something with your Dad. I had my father teach me to play Cribbage and it absolutely tickled him pink to spend the afternoon with me that way. Your father is a Bridge player, why not see if he'll teach you to play Bridge? Then you've got to write on your blog and tell us how it goes!
ReplyDeleteKeep up the blogging. It's fun to share yourself with the world. And just enjoying cooking, sharing with your Dad if he's so inclined :). I love Jan's suggestion - I shall think of what I want my Dad to teach me next time I visit.
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